5 Habits of Emotionally Intelligent people

Emotionally Intelligent people are more successful in all types of relationships

Use these habits of Emotionally Intelligent people to help build your EI skills:


Intent vs action Emotionally Intelligent people1. Value actions over words (ours and theirs). 
We tend to judge others by their actions, and ourselves by our intent. Pay attention to how we are perceived – talk is cheap, actions speak louder. It is easy to judge others by what they do, but remember we are also judged by what we do. When looking for an organisational fit, emotionally intelligent managers pay more attention to our track record than what we say (do we meet deadlines, make customer calls timeously, build relationships?)

Strive for balance, look for the intent behind other’s actions and ensure our actions are clear. We can sometimes blow little things out of proportion. Emotionally Intelligent people in your team means learning how to pause before turning a perceived slight into a huge issue. Instead of stewing about a perceived slight or plotting revenge, consider that the person has a positive intent, or may be distracted by personal issues at home. Rise above it and give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s not always about you.

2. Keep the end in mind.  Keeping an eye on the big picture helps us succeed in life and business. Sometimes it means we need to let go of perceived slights and bumps in the road; bumps that present themselves that can distract us from our goals. It is easier to deal with difficult customers, build successful relationships and keep our energy focussed on what is most important when we are not constantly sidetracked. We need to learn to make a conscious decision not to spend time and energy focusing on problems. Instead we can look for the positive in a situation. Positive solution focussed people concentrate on what they are able to do, and areas within their control. If in a personal relationship, as an example, if we make positivity a priority we are less likely to focus on the “toothpaste cap” issues that can cause strife for so many couples. Emotionally intelligent people don’t ignore issues, they have just made a conscious decision not to spend as much time and energy focusing on them.

3. Pick positive people over toxic ones. Our relationships thrive when filled with positive energy and surrounded by positive people; negative people can destroy relationships. High EI people know that there are enough positive people in the world that they don’t need to waste valuable time and energy managing the toxic ones. Manipulative, combative and negative people are not a great fit for any organisation (or relationship) even if they are high flyers. When someone makes you feel bad about yourself or drains your energy, it is better to move on. Emotionally intelligent people learn how to stand up for themselves and reduce the impact of those who are insincere, dishonest, critical, needy or have destructive habits. Sometimes people with high EI can be seen as pushovers due to their open and friendly nature, but they have learned to set boundaries and assert themselves when needed. They may be polite and considerate but firm at the same time. High EI people learn to think before speaking and to give themselves time to calm down if their emotions become overwhelming. They know when to say no.

4. Build connections with the long term in mind. When a relationship ends it doesn’t mean that we have to cut all ties. Even if it ends on a sour note, emotionally intelligent people strive to take the high road and keep the connection alive and positive. We never know when we may cross paths again. Just because a relationship doesn’t last a lifetime doesn’t mean that we need to part ways as enemies. Often the relationship ends due to differences of perception or timing, not always due to personal slights. Keeping a personal bridge viable allows more opportunities for us to to possibly enjoy a richer experience in the future.

5. Seek positive experiences and continuous learning. Whether it is at home, in the workplace or with friends, high EI people look for opportunities to expand their enjoyment and to be the author of their own happiness. High EI people receive pleasure and satisfaction from helping others become happy and fulfilled, and in brightening someone else’s day. Highly emotionally intelligent people are lifelong learners, constantly looking to grow, develop, open to new ideas, and always willing to learn from others. Critical thinking keeps their minds open to new ideas that may be a better fit.5 Habits of Emotionally Intelligent people Infographic

Emulate the habits of Emotionally Intelligent people to build success and increase your levels of Employee Engagement

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Richard Riche

Change Communication and Employee Engagement specialist at One Clear Message Consulting
Richard specialises in helping you build real human communication skills. Employee Engagement / Experience, Emotional Intelligence skills, building high performance teams and a great place you want to work. TED style speaking and presentation skills. Training, consulting and coaching.
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