The power of Ownership
Ownership is about our why, what we get out of our actions and is essential to augmenting the positive motivations and replacing the negative. Any ambition/motivation that is not your own is negative. No matter how noble or selfless it may seem. If you are not doing it for your own reasons (owning what you get out of it) then you are setting yourself up for an increasing level of resentment. What you do will not fulfil you but rather will leave you angry, empty and hollow. If you can own what you get out of that very same activity, acknowledge that you get something positive out of it, then the same activity which before left you feeling hollow or empty will now give you a greater sense of accomplishment. Negative motivation may not only leave you feeling hollow and quite empty but may necessitate you trying to fill the void with destructive, discounting behaviour that takes you further away from your Self. However, if at some point you decided that you got something positive out of it, that you quite enjoyed aspects of what you were doing you can change a negative motivation to one that is more positive.
You can own what you get out of it now. Even though you began the activity to satisfy someone other than yourself as you realise you really enjoy it or that you get something out of it you value, then your ambition becomes positive.Imagine you became a doctor who discovered a cure for some debilitating disease. If you did it because you thought you’d impress your parents, a significant other or any other reason that was not about you – your motivation/ambition is negative. Even with all the wonderful work that you do there would be an emotional hole you could not fill. In fact, part of you may resent what you do (or the other people) as it is for them.
The day you take ownership of what you enjoy doing, why you do it, that it you are primarily doing it because you get something out of it the very same actions will no longer cause resentment and you will feel the satisfaction and joy of a job well done. For instance a sense of satisfaction for a job well done or the joy we get from helping others, if this becomes your primary motivation you will have converted the motivation to a positive one. The key is to honestly own what you get out of it. If you can’t find any redeeming value to what you are doing then you need to discover value, add value or give up the action. The big thing is to find something to replace it with before you give it up if it is a fundamental part of your life. For instance if you discover the work you do has little or no real value in your life find a new way to earn income, don’t just rush in and quit. As human beings we need to have activities in out lives and most of us require money to live. Even if you are in a position where you do not need to work for a living you will need to find things to do. Activities that add to who you are or are expressions of your strengths and talents will enrich your life. Nature hates a vacuum and either you fill your life with possibilities or life will fill your days with things to kick start you.
Nobody is really selfless. The most selfless act you can imagine has its payoff. Maybe it supports the emotional pictures you have; maybe you get to feel the joy of helping someone or the satisfaction of being stronger than someone. If your emotional pictures of yourself are of a weak and helpless person you may find and be attracted to people who seem weaker and more helpless than you so that next to them you feel stronger. You may engage in activities that reinforce the poor emotional pictures you have. For example, taking the garbage out does not seem to have much in the way of payoffs at first glance. It does, however, allow for a clean, odour-free and bug free home. If you can own this payoff it can be enough to positively motivate you. It is essential to own your motivations and payoffs if you desire to change them to ones that work better for you, also to augment those that work for you.
Ownership of what you do and, more importantly why you do it, is a development necessity