Part of Emotional Intelligence (EI/EQ) is saying no and having difficult conversations
There are many misconceptions about emotional intelligence. Many think it is a nice-to-have soft skill vs. an essential leadership skill. In our EI training we have been asked some variation of the following question “Is is necessary to use EI when dealing with people who are less mature, or demonstrate little EQ?” Other common erroneous ideas about EI/EQ skilled people include:
- they are always in good mood
- they are always nice
- they always say yes
- they avoid conflict
- they are not assertive
- they don’t feel frustration, envy or jealousy
- they never become overwhelmed, and have a meltdown.
High EI does not mean we are always optimistic, agreeable or happy.
Our first response is always an emotional response.
Emotional Intelligence doesn’t mean we only feel positive emotions or are always fully in charge; it does mean we are developing the skills to manage those emotions more effectively. We become more competent at managing ourselves in ways that help us achieve our goals, and grow our relationships.
Emotional Intelligence is:
- becoming aware of what we feel (and why),
- managing how we express our feeling (act),
- becoming aware of how others are feeling,
- and managing our interactions with them.
EI is a journey of awareness helping us manage ourselves and our relationships more effectively.
Richard Riche
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