Performance feedback: In business Don’t Bottle or Blurt
Giving Performance feedback is not always easy. We often don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, or we are unsure exactly how to deliver the feedback. Having a Performance discussion is not always easy either, we may feel defensive or just uncomfortable. For these reasons we often avoid giving feedback, even when it is necessary. When we don’t have an appropriate method to express ourselves we may bottle up the emotion, or blurt out our feelings at the wrong moment. Both are destructive in business, or personal, relationships. If the lines of communication are not kept open we may miss out on important information relating to our skills, or relationships with clients and co-workers.
Bottling the feelings leads to people disengaging from their relationship, feeling resentment and righteous anger. Those who struggle to share their ideas, or feel they are no heard, will often end up sharing their anger and frustration with everyone except the people who can do something about it. This is similar to complaining to the parking attendant when you don’t enjoy a meal in a restaurant, instead of the restaurant manager. This can damage a business, or personal relationship and create a toxic work environment.
Blurting out suppressed feeling is also dangerous to your business or personal relationships specially when giving Performance feedback. This is similar to the drunk in the bar who, after a few shots of tequila, tells their friends what he/she “really” thinks of them. Their anger, frustration and issues blurted out with no filters, often coloured by past relationships making the feelings more intense. Some people, when stress builds, end up blurting hurt feelings and suppressed anger to their co-workers, clients or boss, at an inappropriate time. Blurting leads to the destruction of relationships.
Having a clear feedback structure enables us to deliver the message clearly so the listener can hear and act on the information. Using the One Clear Message 3-2-1 method gives both the person giving the feedback, and the person hearing the feedback, the security of knowing how the feedback will be delivered. The research and psychology behind the process confirms that feedback needs to be three times more positive. Feedback is a skill that can be learned, it does take practice though.
If you want to learn how to create One Clear Message and keep your Performance feedback three times positive contact us today.
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